


Ichor and Courage

by NotEvenThat



Series: Raphael/Jace [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: BAMF Raphael Santiago, Blood and Ichor, Coming Out, Demons, Fluff, M/M, Sarcastic Jace, Sarcastic Raphael, Sarcastic Use of the Word 'Baby', Secret Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 04:05:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenThat/pseuds/NotEvenThat
Summary: Raphael and Jace had, somewhat awkwardly, agreed that there was no reason for them to hide their relationship anymore. Now though, Jace had to be the first one to initiate that and for some reason, the thought made his body clench in nervousness and fear.He just needed enough courage to walk up to him and take his hand. That was it. Then, the rest was out of his control.





	Ichor and Courage

Magnus’s party was on Friday. Raphael and Jace had, somewhat awkwardly, agreed that there was no reason for them to hide their relationship anymore. Jace couldn’t imagine that they were going to walk into Magnus’s apartment making out and declaring their love for all to see but they had agreed that they weren’t going to hide it anymore. If they were there and Jace wanted to hold Raphael's had, he would.

It was simple in concept. Jace had thought about trying to talk to his sibling and mentioning it before the party, where they would most certainly  _see_ it but every time, he couldn’t get himself to say it. He wasn’t ashamed of being with Raphael but even he couldn’t help but admit that it was _odd_ that they worked. It was unexpected and Jace didn’t want him siblings _gawking_ at them but.. He didn’t want to make it into a big deal either. Telling them like it was some kind of confession seemed a lot like making it into a big deal.

Jace had casually kissed his romantic lovers around his sibling before, without briefing them beforehand. There was no reason that Raphael was any different. Jace could hold his hand and kiss him and that would be it. Then, they would know. At least, that was the plan.

Jace knew that in reality that it would probably be far more complicated than that. Though, his options were to do something about it or wait and let whatever happened happen. When Friday finally came around, Jace’s lack of decisiveness made the decision for him.

 

They were meeting there. Apparently, Raphael was going over early to talk with Magnus and Jace was arriving with Alec and Isabelle, so it didn’t make sense for them to meet earlier. There wasn’t an alternative and Jace wasn't exactly upset about it.. but he had imagined that they would arrive together and that the second they walked through the door, it would be out and that would be it.

Now, they were arriving separately and that wasn’t a _problem_ but Jace knew that it meant that he had to actively approach Raphael. They had agreed to do this. They both wanted to tell everyone but Raphael was already there. If Jace walked in and didn’t say anything to Raphael all night, he knew that Raphael wouldn’t approach him either. Raphael wouldn’t even be mad at him. Jace could go to the hotel the next night and neither of them would say anything about it. That would be the end of it.

It would be so easy. Raphael made it so easy for him to back out and Jace appreciated it but for once, he wished that Raphael would just walk up to him and take his hard, regardless of everyone else around them. He wasn’t going too, though. Jace had too.

Though, if there was one thing on his side, it was the fact that Jace had a lot of practice pretending to be confident. All he needed to do was summon enough courage to walk up to him and take his hand. That was it. Then, the rest was out of his control.

Thirty seconds of courage was all that he needed. He was a _Shadowhunter._ He could manage thirty seconds.

 

Magnus’s loft was as beautiful and tasteful as it always was. The alcohol was fully stocked and Maia was behind the bar, looking as charming as always (she flipped him off when Jace paused in the doorway and glanced at her, though Jace could see that there was a friendly gleam behind her eyes).

Alec left him and Isabelle instantly and darted across the loft to where Magnus was standing, his face lit up in a way that he probably wasn’t even conscious of. Isabelle hummed beside him, appraising the party around them before casually making her way forward. Jace followed her before he even looked up to see where she was heading.

Of course, she was heading towards Simon (she seemed particularly enchanted by the fledgling. Jace wasn’t exactly sure why. Though if anyone, he knew about incomprehensible relationships) and of course, standing next to Simon was Raphael.  

He was wearing the suit that Jace had seen him laying out the night before. It was the dark red one with the silver cuffs (painted, not real) that seem especially tight about Raphael’s chest and arms. He knew that Jace loved that suit and Jace saw his mouth twitch in a smirk, when he caught him looking. Jace wasn’t sure if he was actually smirking or if he was projecting the look onto his face. Really, it could have been either.

Jace paused in the middle of the room, his pace faltering only for a moment. Simon and Raphael were both watching them. It was obvious that Jace had been following Isabelle over to them. He couldn’t just turn around.

This time, Jace was sure that he saw Raphael smirking.

He _had_ been planning on walking over to Raphael. He just hadn’t quite thought that he would do it now. He thought that he might get a drink, scope out the room, see where Raphael was and come up with a game plan before he approached him.

Now, he was half way there and if turned around, Raphael would know that he was avoiding it. He would know that this wasn’t seamless. He would know that Jace was nervous and not as confident as he tried to be (as if he didn’t already know).

Jace clenched his jaw and met Raphael’s gaze with a defiant look. Beside him, Simon looked between them confused before looking to Isabelle as she reached them. Jace took a moment to look around at the rest of the party. No one was looking towards them. Everyone was absorbed into their own conversations.

Alec had his hand laced with Magnus’s as they spoke to a warlock Jace had never seen before. Clary was over by the balcony, talking to Luke about something that looked serious. Even Maia was speaking to someone who sat at her bar, leaning over the counter and sipping a drink that Jace doubted was alcoholic (Maia claimed that she never drank on the job, despite Jace finding that hard to believe).

He could do whatever he wanted. The only people who would notice them would be Simon, Isabelle and Raphael himself. No one else would even see them. He could just walk over and kiss him, if he really wanted too.

For a moment, Jace felt all of his previous anxiety leave him. It would probably come back full force the second that he saw his sister's eyes on him but _right now_ , Jace felt like he could do anything.

Jace was nothing if not determined and staring at Raphael’s smirking, _doubtful_ face fueled Jace with any confidence that he needed. Raphael didn’t think that he was going to do it. He thought that Jace was going to chicken out or avoid it for a few hours and do something small, like walk over and take Raphael’s hand.

And that _had_ been his original plan but it couldn’t be now _,_ not with Raphael standing there staring at him like _that._

Jace tightened his shoulders and clenched his jaw. He had been standing there for an odd amount of time. Isabelle was glancing back at him, wondering what he was doing and why he hadn’t followed her or walked away. Simon was glancing over at him, though he had been since he walked in and there was Raphael, waiting for him to do something.

Jace took a single step forward and then all of of sudden, he was moving. He carried himself forward step after step, the party around him melting away his eyes focused on nothing but Raphael and that infuriating smirk on his face.

For just a moment, Jace saw it disappear. He watched Raphael’s face flicker in surprise as Jace walked towards him. If there was any doubt still left in his mind, that surprised look burned it away. Raphael so rarely found himself caught off guard. Jace could count on one hand the amount of times that he’d made Raphael stare at him in shock but each time, it was like an electric shock to Jace’s veins, like a stamina rune that was fully charged. Nothing excited Jace more than wiping the contained expression off Raphael’s face.

Jace heard Isabelle next to him, calling his name. Simon was staring at him, wide eyed as he stepped back but Jace didn’t look at either of them because Raphael was frozen there, his eyes wide and startled as he watched Jace, his hands limp at his sides.

Jace stopped in front of him and they stared at each other, barely an inch between them before Jace leaned in and kissed him, just like that. Raphael’s stayed limp under his mouth for a few seconds before moving suddenly, pressing forward the smallest bit as his eyes followed Jace’s, staying locked onto him, like he thought that if he looked away Jace would disappear or turn into dust under him.

Raphael stood completely still when they pulled away. Jace’s chest heaved for the air, that he had failed to breath since before he’d even started walking. He was sure that Raphael could hear the pounding of his heart and his pulse that had nothing to do with his frantic breath and everything to do with the _open_ expression on Raphael’s face.

Simon gaped next to them, his voice coming out in an astonished shrill, “What the fu-”

Isabelle cut him off quickly, her tone hard enough that Jace whipped around to look at her. “Jace.” She spoke quietly and calmly but under it Jace could hear the warning in her tone. Her hand snapped down to the whip that was on her belt and Jace stared in confused appality. She couldn’t be upset that-

Jace’s parabatai bond throbbed with adrenaline. Jace’s gaze snapped up and locked onto Alec instantly to find that he was already staring, waiting for Jace to look up. For a few moments, Jace struggled to understand what was happened. He thought that somehow they were upset about him and Raphael, that Isabelle was reaching for her weapon in reaction to what Jace had just done but then Jace heard it.

Below them, down on the pavement- the sound echoing up the street and through the open windows and balcony doors- was the familiar screech of demons and the screams of Mundanes encountering something that their minds couldn’t comprehend.

Relief fell over Jace instantly. His shoulders relaxed and his breath came out in a calm sigh. Demons? He could deal with. His family reacting negatively to him kissing his boyfriend in public without warning them in any way whatsoever? Not so much.

Isabelle slid the whip from her belt. Jace watched as Magnus’s hands twitched with magic and as Alec’s bow appeared in his grasp. Jace reached down and pulled the stele from his boot. It was a new one, one that he’d thrown into his boot in case something happened. He would have much rather fought with a sword or.. Anything larger but this would do.

Isabelle darted forward, moving quickly but not frantically towards balcony, where she could jump into the street below. Alec slid an arrow from his thigh holster (which had been there even before Magnus’s use of magic. He seemed to wear it all the time. Jace had the sinking feeling that Magnus got off on it but he would never ask) and knocked it back before letting it fly. Maia, Luke and a couple of other Downworlders that Jace didn’t know moved too, either moving to leave, help or watch.

Jace turned back towards Raphael and their eyes caught each other for a moment. Raphael had contained himself in the few moments since Jace had looked away but even so, Jace could see the line above his eyes where his face was tightened in worry. He knew that Jace did this everyday. He knew that Jace would be fine but he was worried anyway, just as Jace was every time Raphael needed to enter territory that wasn’t his for a meeting. They each knew that the other would be fine but there was that gnawing worrying anyway.

Jace’s face lit up in a smile and Raphael’s eyes flashed down to his mouth with a disapproving press of his lips. Jace leaned in and this time, there was no one around to see when he kisses him.

He pulled away a moment later and glanced over the balcony, where only Alec remained, balanced on the railing as he shot into the fight below. He needed to move. He knew that he did. Jace glanced back at Raphael, knowing that the man was thinking the same thing.

It was so easy, though. He couldn’t help the words tumbling from his lips. “Don’t worry, baby. You stay here- I’ll go take of the scary demons and then I’ll be right back.” He only got to see Raphael’s annoyed expression for a moment before he turned and stared forward. He met Alec at the railing and touched his arm for a second, scanning the street below before jumping over and landing in a crouch.

He heard as Raphael landed next to him but he didn’t glance over. He started forward, whispering the name of his blade before slashing out in a quick motion, aiming to hit both of the demons in front of him.

He was expecting the impact so much that when his blade hit nothing, he stumbled forward and fell onto the pavement, scraping his arm as he stumbled to stand up again. He look around in frantic confusion, raising his blade again.

One of the demons had been thrown back far enough that Jace didn’t even move as it saw it lumbering towards him again. The other had been slashed in half and while it wasn’t dead, it wasn’t a threat anymore either.

Raphael appeared next to him in a flash. One of his arms was caked with ichor and demon flesh. There was some of it splattered on the side of his face and down the front of the red suit that Jace loved so much.

He smiled and leaned forward pressing a cold, ichor filled kiss against the side of Jace’s cheek before saying mockingly, “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of the scary demons for you.”

Jace laughed hard enough that when he tried to move forward again, he was short of breath and clumsy. In battle, Raphael moved fast enough that Jace couldn’t keep his eyes on him but he didn’t have trouble trying to track where he was. Raphael slashed the demons in Jace’s way, incapacitating them before Jace even pulled back to strike. He wasn’t _actually_ trying to protect him. He was trying to piss him off and _fuck_ did it work.

 

Later, when the battle had stilled and the carnage had been glamoured, Jace caught Alec's amused expression as his parabatai watched him and Raphael walk back towards Magnus's building. Jace raised his hand and flipped him off, cracking a smile as he watched Alec laugh and jump off the railing, probably going to find Magnus and make out with him while they were both still riled up. 

"Raph, if we're ever as disgusting as Alec and Magnus, you'd kill us both, right?" 

Raphael looked over at him and appeared to think about it for a moment before nodding. "Of course. Neither of us would ever be that bad, though." Raphael muttered a curse in Spanish and Jace slid his hand into his, ignoring the sticky, burning feeling of the ichor between them. 

"Yeah." Jace laughed breathlessly and his heart sped in his chest as Raphael tightened his grip on his hand and looked over at him, grinning. "Yeah, you're right."

 

**Author's Note:**

> I fall more and more in love with them every time I write about them. 
> 
> Leave a thought below if you have one? Or come yell at me on Tumblr at, 'Facialteeth.'


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